Bacon

Today I accidentally ate nine pieces of bacon. It was my brain's fault. It was full of happy endorphins that transported me to a world in which bacon does not raise cholesterol.

Hours later, I am writing from the fetal position. It turns out my stomach doesn't do well when it's stuffed full with crispy pieces of pure joy.

The good news is my hair smells very *strongly* of bacon. No doubt people in line behind me at the grocery store could smell it. And no doubt I was a hit with my tutoring students this evening. Adverbs and the distributive property never felt so good. Hey, I am full of cutting edge motivational techniques, Jack.

In other news, a few days ago I accidentally gave myself whiplash. Some friends and I have a running music video text exchange, and it was my turn to create a music video for them to enjoy. I sang into my hairbrush with gusto, swaying to the pulsing melody. And then the chorus swept over me like a powerful, thrashing wave, and I the next thing I knew, I was head banging like it was 2002. An hour later, I was popping ibuprofen and moaning to my sister over the phone about my bodily aches.

And so, my accident-prone streak continues. 

Tomorrow it must end, though. Because tomorrow I am hanging curtains. With an electric drill. God help me.

I'll keep you updated.

Happy Monday!

-SJ


© by scj