Wednesday, August 8, 2012

The Brain-Addling Heat

This is a picture of half my family sitting on the couch:

Aren’t you glad I’m here to explain abstract and mystifying images like this?

This is an accurate snapshot of our evenings here in Sun Valley.  Well, fairy accurate.  It does make us look misleadingly calm and relaxed.

Sure, like most Americans we are prone to slouch and eat junk food when we watch TV.  But when the Olympics are on we’re also prone to fly off the couch shouting and cheering, and doing an occasional happy dance. 

And then, when the cheering has subsided and our heart rates have returned to normal, we notice that our abs look nothing like those on the screen in front of us, and that our mouths are full of potato chips and the plate of cookies is gone. 

And that is when we vow to hit the tennis courts the next day.  Just as soon as we’ve eaten a heaping plate of waffles lathered in whipped cream.

And you better believe we do it.  Eat the waffles, I mean.  We do usually head to the courts, too, and we even squeeze in some biking and swimming, so that by the time we get to the courts the sun is high in the sky and the

This is probably why we’re so generous with each other when we play. 

The ball is served into the fence before bouncing into the court?  Totally in.  Play it.

Someone hits a ball hard and fast straight into the net?  Excellent racket/ball contact.  Way to go.

A ball soars over the fence and into Never Never Land?  Homerun.  Double points.

Yes, the heat must have addled our normally competitive brains for us to be so unconcerned with rules and definitions while playing sports. 

There have been other indicators of heat-induced brain-addling this vacation.  Take, for example, this recent conversation we had while driving through the Idaho countryside:

Person 1: Wow!  Look at that!

Person 2: Ostriches! 

Person 3: No, those are definitely pelicans.

Person 4: Actually, I think those are wild turkeys.

Person 3: Yeah, I think you’re right.

Person 1: Ostriches?  Really?

Several seconds pass.

Person 5: Look, lots and lots of buffalo!!

Person 2:  Um, no.  Those are cows.

Etc. etc. 

I believe 'buffalo' resided here

I wish I had a picture of the birds discussed in the beginning of this conversation so I could get your take on the mysterious birds, but alas, I was too busy recording our car conversations.  I have this secret compulsion to record anything in my life that may one day be fodder for a comedic skit. 

I have never written a skit, nor do I have intentions of ever writing a skit, but I am quite determined that should anyone I know ever need material for a skit then I will have something to contribute.  What can I say, I lead an ambitious life.

Speaking of skits, my mother was in the Vacation Bible School skits at my parents church last month, and the videos have finally been posted on Youtube. 

In the skits she plays a Southern middle-aged woman named Sassy Wantalot who is searching for the fountain of youth.  I intend to watch all five of them in succession before the Olympics start this evening, which means I’d better get on it.  You’re welcome to join me:



© by scj

No comments:

Post a Comment