Letters to my life: seven

Dear Diary,

Last weekend I went out of town and forgot to bring my hand sanitizer. After breathing into a paper bag for approximately 57 seconds, I decided to use my grimy hands to eat my poolside chips and guac anyway. And you know what?

I didn't get sick.

Next trip I'll consider leaving my paper bag at home, too.

Love,

Yeah-that's-right Sarah



Dear Immune System,

If I could, I'd give you a fist pump that explodes into a shower of finger-flailing fireworks. Because you're alright, you know it? I'm thankful for all your hard work keeping me cold and flu-free his winter.

Love,

Hardy Sarah

Dear Palm Springs,

You are so good to me.

Love,

Sarah

Dear God,

I'm glad you made me a girl.

Love,

SJ

Dear Friends,

I have a secret talent I've never revealed to you before:

It's called  the "relax your full stomach into a four-month prego belly" talent. 

I'm trying to figure out how I can make some money off it.

Love,

NOT-pregnant Sarah

Dear God,

Thanks for giving me toes.

Love,

Smiling Sarah


P.S.

Thanks for giving me eyes, too.


© by scj

Letters to my life: Spring Chicken

Dear Trader Joe's,

The last two times I've bought wine from you I haven't been carded. This is a travesty. You should consider hiring new cashiers. Preferably ones who can see I *clearly* don't look a day over 21. . .

Love,

Obviously-still-a-spring-chicken Sarah

Dear March Monday Mornings,

You seem to be conspiring against me. If I'm not spilling tea on a silk blouse during your weekly visit, then I'm dropping sunglasses in the toilet. Thank goodness for Tuesdays, which, by all appearances, seem to be void of conspiracies. 

Love,

Is-this-part-of-getting-older? Sarah

Dear Family,

You make me happy.

Love,

Missin'-you Sarah



Dear St. Patrick's Day,

You mark the day I turned 28 1/2. Which means that today I am closer to 29 than 28. Which is really perplexing to me because it was just a few months ago that I turned 26. *Gulp*

Love,

Time's-flyin'-too-fast Sarah

Dear 2013,

You're turning out to be a banner year. Health, friendships, hiking, beach trips, running, weekend getaways, live music, fancy dinners, picnics, family visits, sunshine, satisfying work, new job opportunities — I kinda want to keep you around for awhile.

Love,

Now-if-I-could-just-figure-out-how-to-slow-you-down Sarah



Dear Carl,

I would like to give a shout-out to you on here. Although I am positive you don't read my blog.

You are one of the best leads I've ever danced with. And dancing with a good lead is one of life's most delightful experiences — comparable to zip lining through the jungle, white water rafting down a waterfall, and hiking Half Dome. Seriously. What I'm trying to tell you is that dancing with you made my week. So thanks.

Love,

Love-to-twirl Sarah



Dear Readers,

My little brother Marc made the New York Times Sports page:

He's kind of a big deal. ;)

Love,

Yeeeeah-baby Sarah



Dear Men whom I date,

It turns out you can learn a lot about someone's character whilst gettin' groovy on the dance floor. More, even, than a rousing discussion over dinner, or a day spent in the great outdoors. So what are you waiting for? Polish yo dance shoes, and leeesssssss do this!

Love,

Lacin'-up-them-shoes-now Sarah

Dear Sister,

I miss you. Please come visit again soon.

Love,

I-love-you-mucho-grande Sarah

© by scj

Letters to my life: health

Dear sweaty, burn-inducing Workouts,

You're one of my favorite things. Right up there with symphonies, sunsets, and Spanish-speaking countries.

Love,

Sore Sarah

Dear Matt. P.,

Do you remember the day our college track team sprinted hill repeats until almost all of us collapsed and then barfed? (Oh wait. That was every day.) And do you remember how it sort of felt like we were on the brink of death after that workout? And do you remember how I didn't barf because I was having a rare asthma attack? And do you remember how you were leaning over the gutter, dizzy and exhausted, when you realized I was having an attack? And do you remember how you sprinted down that 300-meter hill, got my inhaler, and sprinted up again to get it to me? That required superhuman strength.

I was remembering that this week. It made me smile.

Love,

Still-smiling Sarah

Dear February,

You've been a magical month. Since that first day you took over time-keeping for January, I've felt better than I've felt in years. Like, 100% HEALTHY better. 

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Love,

And-I-just-keep-pinching-my-healthy-self Sarah

Dear healthy Body,

I love you, and I've missed you, and I love you, and I've missed you, and I love you, and I've missed you, and I love you times one million zillion.

Love,

Me

Dear Jesus,

I wish I could throw my arms around you, and rest my head on your chest, and whisper thanks in your ear. But instead I'll just whisper 'thank you,' from where I sit, for this month of health, and I'll look forward to a big ol' bear hug in heaven.

Love,

Your Sarah

Dear Apple Tree,

My pies and I miss you.

Love,

Darn-you-termites Sarah

Dear Friend who suggested we go on a motorcycle tour of Australia next winter,

Um, heck. yes.

Love,

Packing-my-leather-now Sarah

Dear Readers,

Let's laugh together, okay?

You ready? Here goes:

Aahahahaha!!!!!!!

Didn't that feel good?

Love,

I-like-laughing-with-you Sarah

Dear Orange County Horizons,

I never tire of you.

Love,

Wide-eyed-with-wonder Sarah



© by scj

Letters to my life: Dancing

Dear Woman at church who thought I was 17, and advised me to consider going to Biola University after graduation,

Thank you for forgetting to wear your glasses today. It made me feel guh-reat.

Love,

In-fact-let's-all-always-forget-to-wear-our-glasses Sarah

Dear Hyphen,

How would I sign these letters without you?

Love,

The-possibilities-are-endless-thanks-to-you Sarah

Dear Apple Inc.,

Today I realized I needed to go to the store to stock up on Candy Cane Lane tea before the Christmas season is over. Then I noticed my iPhone says it's February.

You might want to have your tech guys fix the calendar app. It's clearly not working correctly.

Love,

Good-thing-you've-got-me-to-advise-you Sarah

Dear Ladies, and Gentlemen with ponytails,

A coconut oil hair mask is your new best friend. Seriously. Go try it.

Love,

'I-whip-my-hair-back-and-forth' Sarah



Dear aforementioned Gentlemen,

Your ponytail is hot. Keep it. The answer is always keep it. 

Love,

Let's-whip-our-hair-back-and-forth-together Sarah

Dear Readers who are skeptical of male ponytails,

Are you skeptical now?

Love,

Not-with-Colin-Farrell-in-the-house-you-aren't!! Sarah

Dear Life,

I like you.

Love,

Sarah

Dear God,

When I get to heaven, one of the first things I want to do is watch Joni Eareckson-Tada dance.

Love,

And-then-maybe-you-and-I-and-the-rest-of-heaven-can-dance-with-her? Sarah



© by scj

Letters to my life: Orange County Winter

Dear World,

Are you wondering why this Nike tennis skirt, featured in a recent Nordstrom catalogue, is so. darn. cute?

It's because my sister produced it, that's why.

Love,

Proud Sarah

Dear Pacific Northwest, Midwest, East Coast, and any other place that is not Orange County: 

You should fly south for the winter. It's mighty fine down here.

Love,

Hiking-in-a-tank-top-and-shorts-in-the-middle-of-January Sarah



Dear Lovely Woman who sat next to me in a faculty training meeting this week,

You didn't know that both my doctors advised me to try yoga a few months ago. And you didn't know that, as I worked to pay off medical bills, I'd started praying God would lead me to an inexpensive yoga class. And you didn't know that after awhile I said, "What the heck!" and began praying for a free yoga class.

You didn't know all this when you invited me to attend the yoga class you teach this semester, for free.

And you didn't know how you made my soul breathe deep delight.

Love,

Now-you-know Sarah

Dear Tonsils,

I do not miss you. At all. 

Love,

Healthy Sarah

Dear Hair,

Do you miss my tonsils? Because since their removal you've begun to rebel — you've gone from stick-straight to Top Ramen-curly.

Love,

Bewildered and Curly-haired? Sarah



Dear Observant Detail-Noticers,

Please ignore the hole you see in the neckline of my shirt in the above picture. It is a sign of long-lasting love for a shirt that used to be my dad's.

Love,

Daddy's little Sarah

Dear National Geographic,

This photo you captured is a profound metaphor. I just haven't figured out for what, yet.

Love,

But-I-will Sarah



Dear Readers,

Do you ever search high and low for your phone, retrace your steps 17 times, pull your [recently curling] hair in frustration, and then walk by the mirror and notice you're holding your phone to your head and talking on it?

I hope so. It would make me feel better.

Love,

Losing-it-at-28 Sarah

© by scj

Letters to my Life: more of 'em

Dear "Pushing Daisies,"

How were you only two seasons long? You were creative, quirky, smart, hilarious, and romantic. You cared about goodness and beauty. But, like a brilliant and warm supernova, you were here one moment and gone the next.

"The Bachelor" is on its 17th season.

This, I guess, is a very sad commentary about us.

Love,

Perplexed-and-dismayed Sarah

Dear Ned from "Pushing Daisies,"

Why, yes, I'll marry you.

Love,

Smitten Sarah

Dear Sister,

You’re my favorite to frolic with.

Love,

Skippy Sarah

Dear Prepositions,

Sometimes I like to rebel and let you dangle.

Love,

Wild Sarah

Dear little kid Self,

Don’t worry. I didn’t change much.

Love,

Crinkle-nosed Sarah

Dear men who sat around me on my flight to Phoenix this week,

To the man across the aisle who explained nomenclature chemistry: thank you for distracting me from the turbulence.

To the man on my left who helped the elderly man near the window put on his sweater: thank you for making me all warm inside.

To the quiet man behind me: thank you for taking my heavy bag from me and carrying it off the plane for me.

Love,

Grateful Sarah

Dear God,

Thanks for making us in your image. It makes me glad to be human.

Love,

Your Sarah

Dear Garden,

I love you and I missed you, and I love you and I missed you.

Love,

Happy-to-be-eating-lunch-surrounded-by-flowers Sarah



Dear American citizens, 

Please contact your congressman and senators (repeatedly) over the next few weeks. New firearm restrictions are coming, many based on ignorance of the issue and bypassing the issues that caused the Newtown tragedy. Instead of surrendering constitutional rights, we're better of putting pressure on our representatives to keep their eye on the ball and focus on the real issues at hand.*

Love,

I-copied-this-from-a-friend's-Facebook-status Sarah

Dear Readers,

It turns out writing letters is a grand way to capture life. I think I'll do it more.

Love,

Plain ol' Sarah


*This letter is not written by me. I copied it off a FB friend's status update.

 'Pushing Daisies' image credits: 

thetorchonline.com; entertainmentwallpaper.com

© by scj

Letters to an onion et al.

Dear Onion that my sister and I cut up and placed strategically around the house last week,

You done good. Thank you for soaking up the germs in my parents' house-turned-flu rehabilitation center. I have somehow made it back to California unscathed by the vomit bug.

Love,

Healthy Sarah


Dear Placebo Effect,

Just in case the whole onion/germ thing doesn't actually work, thank you for soaking up all my worries.  Well, not all of them, but the flu-inducing ones.

Love,

Peaceful Sarah

Dear Little Brother,

How you be so fly?

Love,

Admiring Sarah

Dear Skin,

Seventy degrees and sunny. Are you happy now?

Love,

Vitamin-D-hungry Sarah

Dear Grading,

I kicked your hiney, SUCKA!!!!

Love,

Victorious Sarah


Dear HHS mandate,

You are the result of a devastating reinterpretation of the constitution. You strip us of religious freedoms, and prohibit many of us from acting according to our conscience. You've also made it impossible for many good business owners to act according to their moral convictions without getting nailed by multi-million dollar fines. This is egregious. I hope enough Americans protest you to effect change.

Love,

Hoping-to-get-our-freedom-back Sarah


Dear Readers,

You can protest the HHS mandate quickly and easily by going here. This site walks you through writing a letter to our senators. It does most of the work for you. Seriously. It will take you two minutes!

Love,

Sarah



© by scj