Monday, June 10, 2013

Monday Confessions

A list of silly, trivial confessions. Also known as this week's blooper reel.

1. I haven't done my dishes in almost a week. Today is the day I do that, folks. Mostly because I need something with which to make and eat my breakfast.

2. Not too long ago I noticed a tall, broad man with a pony tail. He had me at ponytail. So I checked him out, and then checked him out again. And then he turned around and he was 75.

Moral of the story: ponytails can do a lot for an aging backside, gentlemen.

3. Last week I wore yoga pants and socks with flip flops to work every day but Thursday. Thursday I wore cute shoes that showed off my orange-y red toenails. It was one of the worst decisions I made all week. And so I rang in the weekend with yoga pants, and socks with flip flops. My colleagues pretended not to notice. God bless them.

4. It could also be that my colleagues didn't notice. This is because we were shut away in a room assessing student portfolios all week. We graded hundreds of them, with very few breaks. And oh, if only I'd video recorded the general delirium and insanity that ensued by day four of non-stop grading. Talk about amay-zing blooper reels. I love my colleagues. They're some of my favorite people.

On a side note, if you run into me this week and notice that I'm in a cross-eyed daze, flourishing my red pen whilst muttering to myself, "3.5, give it a 3.5 for organization of ideas," well, you know why.

5. Recently, a young cop pulled up next to me at a stop light. His windows were down. My windows were down. He seemed single and ready to mingle. I was single, and working up the courage to mingle.

But instead of initiating contact, I gulped and stared stoically at the red light. I did the same thing when we pulled up next to each other at the next light, and the light after that.

It seems irreverent — or at the very least inappropriate — to flirt with cops, don't you think? If you could weigh in on this terribly important issue, I'd appreciate it.

Happy Monday, everyone!


© by scj

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